Finals

Wow! Half of jounior year is effing over, thank god! This week was kinda bleh i guess, not that great. Stupid shit happend and finals was this week, I had all my hard classes in one day....yeah life sucks for me. Yeah so due to my lazziness and procrastination, I haven't been blogging. XD
Yesterday was interesting, after a hard day of the first finals, we went to the tennis meeting. After that me, Tri, and lily went to mcdonalds because I was craving chicken nuggets. We ended up staying there for like a few hours, talking about random stuff about life, yeah some deep talk xD
Yeahhhhhh idk what else to talk about...I feel like venting though so here I go ;]

   
"I'm only left with a piano to accompany me all day
Sleepin on a grand piano
Silently worning out
I think you've shown it prefectly clear
I understand and I know that you're willing to
You said that you will be sad
But I don't believe it
Accompanying me and holding my hand like before
I hope that he really love you more than I do
So I will forced myself to leave you
You want me to say it, it's hard for me
I don't even want us to separate
Why do I still replace my sadness with a smile?
I really don't have that talent
Being with you and then accept him
You don't have to worry too much
I can manage on my own
You've gone so far away
And I will slowly walk away
Why do I still hold you when I should be leaving?
I really don't have that skill
To remain silent so soon
I will learn how to give you up
It's because I still love you so much" 
~ lyrics to An Jing by Jay Chou
This song can be so easily related to I think. From talking with tri and lily, I realized that you do in fact go through a lot during high school. All the pain and stuff I guess is what makes you stronger but such things seem so impossible to get through. It's so hard at times to keep your head up but you must.
This song, it's funny how you were the one to show me it, saying how it's your favorite song. At first I didn't really care for it, but after a while I started to grow a liking to it and now I listen to it non stop and can even now relate to it...what am I suppose to do now. How is it that your favorite song is what brings me down? How is it that, that song is exactly what you are doing to me? Why do you have to keep giving me false hopes? Why is it that I always fall so hard for anything, why am I so stupid. Why do I let you hurt me and in the end accept your appology all over agian. Why can't I stay mad at you? Why can't I hate you? Why do I keep waiting even though you don't keep your words, why are you such a mystery?
Everyone around me says they should  change, am I falling into the phase too? Do I need to change my way? Do I make myself stronger by being bitter towards such feelings? To be a bitch? Should I tell people to just fuck off sometimes? Why can't I just be the same to everyone? Why do I have to be so two faced, why am I so bi polar sometimes? 
What am I to you? What do you want from me? Why are you so selfish? You said you are sorry for not taking care of me, you aren't though, you can't be sorry because you don't care. You said you know me, and you do. Even over just typing out letters on the computer, you can tell the words aren't how I feel, I was suprised. Now looking at that though, maybe it was just a lucky guess for you. You say you know me, if you do then you should know how hurt I am. I am not jealous or sad becuase I really can care less, but I'm just hung up on how you didn't inform me on anything, Making me spend all that time waiting and worrying that something might've happend to you, if you would've just told me I would've been fine. Sighhhh idkkk -.-

Yeapppp there is tabina's venting again xD
Thanks for reading what this emotional wreck has to say ;]