drawwwww xD

Yeap, so as most of you know i like to draw random crap
so instead of you guys just reading about my boring life, i will let you see what i drawwww xD

This one was one i drew today =]

uhh last week i think?

a few weeks back? xD

uhhh yesterday? xD

tell me what you think of them =]

Finals

Wow! Half of jounior year is effing over, thank god! This week was kinda bleh i guess, not that great. Stupid shit happend and finals was this week, I had all my hard classes in one day....yeah life sucks for me. Yeah so due to my lazziness and procrastination, I haven't been blogging. XD
Yesterday was interesting, after a hard day of the first finals, we went to the tennis meeting. After that me, Tri, and lily went to mcdonalds because I was craving chicken nuggets. We ended up staying there for like a few hours, talking about random stuff about life, yeah some deep talk xD
Yeahhhhhh idk what else to talk about...I feel like venting though so here I go ;]

   
"I'm only left with a piano to accompany me all day
Sleepin on a grand piano
Silently worning out
I think you've shown it prefectly clear
I understand and I know that you're willing to
You said that you will be sad
But I don't believe it
Accompanying me and holding my hand like before
I hope that he really love you more than I do
So I will forced myself to leave you
You want me to say it, it's hard for me
I don't even want us to separate
Why do I still replace my sadness with a smile?
I really don't have that talent
Being with you and then accept him
You don't have to worry too much
I can manage on my own
You've gone so far away
And I will slowly walk away
Why do I still hold you when I should be leaving?
I really don't have that skill
To remain silent so soon
I will learn how to give you up
It's because I still love you so much" 
~ lyrics to An Jing by Jay Chou
This song can be so easily related to I think. From talking with tri and lily, I realized that you do in fact go through a lot during high school. All the pain and stuff I guess is what makes you stronger but such things seem so impossible to get through. It's so hard at times to keep your head up but you must.
This song, it's funny how you were the one to show me it, saying how it's your favorite song. At first I didn't really care for it, but after a while I started to grow a liking to it and now I listen to it non stop and can even now relate to it...what am I suppose to do now. How is it that your favorite song is what brings me down? How is it that, that song is exactly what you are doing to me? Why do you have to keep giving me false hopes? Why is it that I always fall so hard for anything, why am I so stupid. Why do I let you hurt me and in the end accept your appology all over agian. Why can't I stay mad at you? Why can't I hate you? Why do I keep waiting even though you don't keep your words, why are you such a mystery?
Everyone around me says they should  change, am I falling into the phase too? Do I need to change my way? Do I make myself stronger by being bitter towards such feelings? To be a bitch? Should I tell people to just fuck off sometimes? Why can't I just be the same to everyone? Why do I have to be so two faced, why am I so bi polar sometimes? 
What am I to you? What do you want from me? Why are you so selfish? You said you are sorry for not taking care of me, you aren't though, you can't be sorry because you don't care. You said you know me, and you do. Even over just typing out letters on the computer, you can tell the words aren't how I feel, I was suprised. Now looking at that though, maybe it was just a lucky guess for you. You say you know me, if you do then you should know how hurt I am. I am not jealous or sad becuase I really can care less, but I'm just hung up on how you didn't inform me on anything, Making me spend all that time waiting and worrying that something might've happend to you, if you would've just told me I would've been fine. Sighhhh idkkk -.-

Yeapppp there is tabina's venting again xD
Thanks for reading what this emotional wreck has to say ;] 

the first of 2010

Hello 2010~ haha its my first post of this year =D
I've been lazy once agian and haven't been blogging...too much stuff to do xD
So far this year is ok, it was the first day of school today of this year...hahah i hate going back to school....they should have longer breaks xD
Nothing too special about my day today, at least i dont remember anything special besides the fact that i have bad luck with finding dresses =.= out of sizes...sigh...oh well =]

Kinda a bad idea to vent on my first post of the year but i came across this song and couldn't help but relating to it...its so true....

Rebel by Nikki Flores
(this is the chorus of the song....)
"You make it impossible to get to your heart
As soon as I'm close is when you close the door
You're pushing me far away and making it hard
I know what you're going through, been hurt before
So let down your guard, I'll show you love
But you're still running like a rebel without a cause
You make it impossible to get to your heart
You're still running like a rebel without a cause"

kinda of my feelings right now towards this "fruit" i guess
i feel like it was just maybe a day thing, like being caught in the moment...but i guess not. Have i already fallen? Is it too late to turn back now? Sighhh i think too much huh? oh well xD
I dont mean that i relate to this COMPLETELY! haha cause this is like....LOVE not just a liking or something xD
but i feel like this "fruit" is like the lyrics, not completely but pretty much it...idk how to say it haha i guess its just i dont understand him....will i be able to one day?
What would happen he knew? Would he grow further away? would things be more akward? haha i think its a sign...a sign saying that i shouldn't keep hoping for impossible things. Sigh im thinking too much....why am i thinking about these things? All these what ifs and questions....they are completely useless and gets you nowhere.
sighh why does human nature have to be like this? well at least for me
why is it that i have to feel so happy around this person? why do i smile so easily? why can't i just avoid it? how can something that makes you so happy make you feel sad at the same time? sad isn't the right word...it really isn't...idk the word...but its like your missing something, you want something...

HAHAH idk how this came out of me xD
stupid english freaking stupid crap pointless POINTLESS! >=[
okok i should finish it now....freaking English =.=
haha thanks for reading ;]