that vong....

Disappointed

-adjective

1. depressed or discouraged by the failure of one's hopes or expectations: a

disappointed suitor.

dee eye ess eh pee pee ohh eye enn tee eee dee....

d i s a p p o i n t e d

that vong

decepcionado

However you want to say it.

Whatever it means to you.

I don't know if I'm disappointed in myself, or am i disappointed at someone, or if i'm just disappointed in general.

Everything seems to just be so hard

everything seems to just be so wrong

everything just seems to be so different, i'm not ready yet....why can't things just slow down...

I hate setting myself up for failure but somehow i always end up doing so,

i hate how i always end up with failed hopes.

Everything just seems to annoy me more and more as each day past. i hate how i am like that! i hate how i'm so judgmental now! its so ridiculous!

I hate how i'm still so self conscience, why can't i just have more faith in myself?

why can't i just not care?

why can't i just believe in things? stop being so non-secure?

Uggg i hate myself for doing the same things over and over again.
i keep telling myself to change and become this better and stronger person but i can't.

i end up just redoing what i say i wont do.

I keep believing in the wrong things and in the wrong people.

I keep getting treated wrong, i hate it

I can't meet someone who will treat me different

I dont know what to do anymore

Why can't things be better?

Why do i always fall for the same stupid people

why can't i be more picky

i hate this

I hate how judgmental i can be

i hate how mean i can be

i hate how much i complain

i hate how much things have changed

i hate how everything that's happening to fast

i just hate it.....why can't things just be the same

why is there so much change that no one wants. Why can't things just go smoothly.

why? WHY? because life is a bitch

uggg -_-

who are you...

Who the hell are you to make me wait and wait?

who the hell are you to make me have false hopes?

who are you to disappoint me over and over again?

who are you to tell me lies?

who are you to make my heart ache? to make it hurt again and again?

who are you to break promises?

who are you to make me doubt myself?

who are you to make me feel guilty?

who are you to make me look like an idiot?

who are you to make me upset? angry? a bitch?

who the fuck do you think you are to make me love you like that?

who are you to waste my time?

I want to hate you!

I want to block you away from my life!

I want you to feel the pain and hurt i felt!

Fuck you for messing around with my feelings.

I want to do all of this but cant.

No matter how fucking hard i erase you i can't get rid of you.

Whenever i bring myself to say those words to you i can't, im too fucking weak and timid. I'm fucking in love with someone who doesn't love me back, who keeps filling me with lies. You promise and promise but you never do it. You make it seem like im a fucking burden. I DON'T fucking want you to pity me, i don't want to be a burden. Well, i wont be a burden no longer. I don't need you. I don't need you in my head every morning when i wake up. I don't need to worry about the future with you because i know there will be none.

I don't know what to do anymore. I am lost.

The more i hang on the more i feel like i'm falling. I don't want to make the wrong choice. I don't want to have to regret everything. I want to start a new chapter and rip out the old pages. I need to stop dreaming and face reality. I need to grow some balls and face the truth. I need to become a different person. I can't be the old same tabina who's gullible. I can't continue being weak inside. I need to focus. Need to block unnecessary things out. I need to stop admiring things and not going for them. But how do i do that? How do i start? how do i begin? What do i even want? I don't even know =_=

senior year =]

yeappp tabina is a big girl now =D

senior year has started and its time to get cracking xD

yeap...our class is the "top dogs" now but it cetainly doesn't feel like it at all.

i just feel like i feel every year except more stressed out and loss =_=

Saying that though, i still need to make some changes.

i need to stop the procrastination; seriously that is what fucks me up xD

i need to stop being so whiny too....it even annoys me! xD

i need to start being a better person too i guess...idk what i mean by that but....yeah

this year is going to be the most different, school will be over, we will move onto our own paths, we will all officially be an adult. I wonder how different everyone will be...will we all grow more mature this year? or does it take another year after school?

who knows XD lets just hope this year won't kill me X_X