who are you...

Who the hell are you to make me wait and wait?

who the hell are you to make me have false hopes?

who are you to disappoint me over and over again?

who are you to tell me lies?

who are you to make my heart ache? to make it hurt again and again?

who are you to break promises?

who are you to make me doubt myself?

who are you to make me feel guilty?

who are you to make me look like an idiot?

who are you to make me upset? angry? a bitch?

who the fuck do you think you are to make me love you like that?

who are you to waste my time?

I want to hate you!

I want to block you away from my life!

I want you to feel the pain and hurt i felt!

Fuck you for messing around with my feelings.

I want to do all of this but cant.

No matter how fucking hard i erase you i can't get rid of you.

Whenever i bring myself to say those words to you i can't, im too fucking weak and timid. I'm fucking in love with someone who doesn't love me back, who keeps filling me with lies. You promise and promise but you never do it. You make it seem like im a fucking burden. I DON'T fucking want you to pity me, i don't want to be a burden. Well, i wont be a burden no longer. I don't need you. I don't need you in my head every morning when i wake up. I don't need to worry about the future with you because i know there will be none.

I don't know what to do anymore. I am lost.

The more i hang on the more i feel like i'm falling. I don't want to make the wrong choice. I don't want to have to regret everything. I want to start a new chapter and rip out the old pages. I need to stop dreaming and face reality. I need to grow some balls and face the truth. I need to become a different person. I can't be the old same tabina who's gullible. I can't continue being weak inside. I need to focus. Need to block unnecessary things out. I need to stop admiring things and not going for them. But how do i do that? How do i start? how do i begin? What do i even want? I don't even know =_=